Wife Swap: Cullen's Vs Selva's
by XxCullenFeverxX
Summary: Okay there are lots of these out there but please give it a shot! :  Anyway the Cullen's end up on Wife Swap and must deal with living with the  new mom for two weeks. However complications appear left and right and hilarity ensues! Will include Renesmee.


**Okay so I know there are a lot of these out there but I wanted to try my hand at one and I added a few of my own twists to it. Also I tried to make the Cullen's act a little more mature and in character than in some of the other ones, however with a story line revolving around 'Wife Swap' it's pretty hard to do and they may of course act slightly OOC but nothing insanely crazy. Also even though it couldn't happen they are in Forks with same basic settings as in the book except with Renesmee of course at home. I realize that of course they would have had to have moved and everything but I think I like it better this way than just in some random setting. By the way Renesmee is supposed to look like she is 8ish although she is really only 3. Anyway I think that's all for now! Please review with any constructive criticism you may have or any ideas or thoughts. I'm almost finished with the next chapter and should have it up tomorrow or the next day. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Wife Swap and am making no money from this so back off! **

**Emmett POV **

"Oh my God! Emmett, I thought you were kidding!" Rose screeched as she walked back to the Jeep. We were driving home from school and she had just gone to go get the mail while we waited in the driveway. It was only Edward, Jasper, Rosalie and I, being as Bella and Alice had decided to take Renesmee shopping after school.

As she walked back she was staring at a manila envelope, her eyes widening and her face tensing in anger and frustration. Edward's expression was similar, yet slightly calmer, as he listened to Rosalie's thoughts.

"What did I do this time?" I asked confused as I raked my brain for anything I might have done in the past month or so that would provoke this type of reaction from a piece of mail. She got into the passenger side of the car and just stared at me like I was the biggest idiot on the entire planet before she rather hotly tossed the manila envelope at me. I caught it and glanced at the return address. I could feel Jasper looking over my shoulder from the back seat trying to figure out what all the sudden commotion was about.

The return address was probably the last address I would have expected to see. According to the address the letter was from the reality show _'Wife Swap'_

"What the hell?" I asked baffled. I had only been joking when I had been talking about applying for wife swap. We all had been joking about it.

"Well if you were only joking and never sent it in than why in the world would they write back?" Edward spat. I couldn't tell if it were a question or an accusation.

"Look," I started, trying to explain myself even though the entire situation made absolutely no sense to me. "You were all there and we were all just messing around. _I _never sent any of it in."

"Well are you implying that one of us did?" Rosalie asked trying to sound patient, although I could tell she was quite frustrated.

"I don't know!" I replied as I threw the still unopened envelope back at Edward and started driving back down the driveway. I heard as Edward opened up the letter and he began to read aloud upon a request made by Rosalie.

"_Dear Dr. and Mrs. Cullen,"_ He began while quickly reading the rest mentally. Rosalie cleared her throat signaling him to continue.

"Basically it just says that they found our entrance video very interesting and have decided to have us participate in their program. Apparently they will be here in three days to pick up Esme and the new mom will be here the following day." He summarized, anger, though subtle, was notable in his voice.

I pulled the car in to the garage and we all got out. Neither Carlisle nor Esme's car was there so they must not be home yet I thought, slightly relieved.

"We still have to explain it to them as soon as they get back," Edward stated in response to my thoughts.

"If you didn't send it in Emmett-" Jasper started.

"Which I _didn't_," I interrupted,.

"Well if you _didn't_, than who did?" He finished, copying my emphasis on the word didn't as if to mock me.

"I say we wait until Bella, Alice, and Renesmee return to discuss this further. They just went to some of the small shops in town they should be back soon." Edward suggested. We all nodded in silent agreement and left to go finish the day's homework.

It took us all of 5 minutes to finish and after that, having nothing better to do, I picked up the nearest book and started reading. It was Bella's old copy of _Wuthering Heights_ and having read it numerous times I just skimmed through the pages while listening to what everyone else was doing. Jasper was in the library reading as well; Edward sat behind me in the living room at the piano, his fingers skimming over the keys without playing them as if waiting for the right moment of inspiration to hit; and Rosalie was upstairs in our room where I could vaguely hear the sound of a brush being pulled softly through her already flawless hair.

After almost two hours of sheer boredom the rest of the girls returned along with multiple shopping bags. In all honesty there were only 5 bags, which was a surprisingly small amount for Alice.

"Hey Emmett!" Nessie said practically bouncing up and down as I went to help them with their bags.

"Hey Ness! God, who gave you coffee?" I teased.

"No one! But right after we left from the school Alice had a vision that something interesting came in the mail. What is it? What is it?" She begged while continuing to bounce in place.

"Gee, thanks for the heads up Alice."

"I take it, it wasn't particularly good news?" She asked in response to lack of enthusiasm in my voice.

"You couldn't tell from your vision?" Jasper questioned as he made his way to the living room where we had begun to gather.

"Not with Ness around I couldn't."

"I'm sorry." Nessie said.

"Aw Ness, it's not your fault." Alice said with a smile. She smiled back and then jumped into Edwards arms as he walked over from where the piano was.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed as he picked her up and hugged her.

"Hey sweetheart," he said before wrapping his free arm around Bella. "Hello love." He said sweetly as he pecked her on the lips.

**Edward POV**

After we had all said our hellos and they had put their bags upstairs we gathered in the living room to discuss the letter. Jasper and Alice, and Rosalie and Emmett, sat in the two love seats while Bella, Renesmee, and I sat on the couch. Nobody was saying much so I decided to start.

"Today we received a letter from _"Wife Swap" _notifying us that we had been chosen for the show. The one thing no one seems to be able to figure out is how they got our application." I said starting the discussion.

"I remember making the video and filling out the application but we were all joking, I mean no one could possibly take that stuff seriously, and I most certainly didn't send them anything." Alice said.

"The same goes for me." Bella stated.

I was briefly taken back to the day when this all started, though at the time it was nothing more than an ongoing joke.

_Flashback_

It was a sunny day and we had all been stuck inside with nothing better to do than watch wife swap. The show had just ended and Emmett had made a remark about what would happen if we were to go on the show.

"Just imagine," he had started, "how incredibly chaotic that would turn out if we were on that show." Alice and Rosalie stifled a laugh imagining driving the human mom insane with our above odd ways of living.

We all made a few remarks on it before Japer started mocking the videos they show before they swap the two wives and before we knew it Emmett was running around with the video camera pretending to video tape our every move and kept randomly throwing in the words 'currently the Cullen's'. It really wasn't something that I would consider hilarious, but Nessie's laughter was contagious. After a couple minutes he got bored and started going around like it was an audition tape, except for the stuff he was saying was highly ubsurd.

Mimicking Carlisle's voice he went around filming each of us saying things such as "This is Jasper. He is emotionally disturbed," or "This is Bella she is such a nerd that she spends every night er studying let's call it," and then of course "This is Renesmee. She manages to, or at least tries, to convince everyone that she is the image of angelic perfection and can do no wrong." Which earned a laugh from all of us, her mother and I especially.

The whole thing was mostly for Nessie's amusement and we all thought the joke was over until Alice had decided it would be funny to fill out the same information on the application and slid it under Rosalie and Emmett's door. Rosalie of course had to do her one better and put both in an envelope with the _'Wife Swap'_ P.O. Box address labeled on the front and slid it under Alice's door. As immature as it might have been we all had had a good laugh over it before throwing the envelope out, or at least that's what we had thought.

_End Flashback _

"I thought Emmett threw it out," Alice added.

"I thought you threw it out!" came Emmett's defensive response.

"Why would you think that?" she questioned him.

"Well I set it down in the kitchen when I went upstairs for a second to grab my history book, I saw you go into the kitchen with Nessie and when we left for school it was gone so I assumed you threw it out." He explained. It seemed like a rational conclusion but that left Ness as the culprit. I could tell everyone else's thoughts were along the same line and I turned to her.

"Ness, did you touch the letter?" I asked gently.

"I don't know. What did it look like?" she asked innocently.

"It was an envelope that looked a lot like this one but it had no stamp on it." Bella calmly explained to her as she crawled on to my lap.

"Oh I think I remember it. Alice helped me get something to eat for breakfast and then I went out to the car so you and Dad could drive me to school but then you asked me if I would go grab the mail on the counter real quick cuz some of it had to be mailed out today and I remember that one was lying next to the other mail 'cept someone forgot to put a stamp on it so I did and gave it all to Dad in the car," she explained to Bella.

I just sighed and thought about how I was going to explain this to Carlisle and Esme.

**There you have it! Thanks for reading and reviews are appreciated :) **


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